When I met Karol, I was thirty-three. A year later we got married. It is said that the older people are, the more cautious, but we also knew that when you meet the right person, you shouldn’t wait. We loved each other and wanted children. – At least two – repeated Charles with a mischievous smile.
The thought of a baby became our obsession
Right after the wedding, we stopped protecting ourselves. And although we tried very hard, there were no results. Times are tough for us because when you want to get pregnant and it doesn’t work out, the thought of having a baby becomes an obsession. Every month brought hope, every menstruation – disappointment. We told family and friends we still had time, although we knew very well that it was getting less and less.
I decided there was nothing left to wait for and went to seek help from a specialist. The gynecologist immediately discovered a hydrocele in the fallopian tubes. I had to have surgery. By the way, the adhesions on the fallopian tubes were also removed and everything returned to normal. I was healthy and in theory I could get pregnant.
– In such cases, the man should also be examined – said the doctor. Karol was referred to an andrologist and… it turned out that he had weak sperm. When he told me about it, he blushed like a child. The doctor suspected that her husband’s problems might have something to do with his work.
– After all, in the printing business I have contact with paints and heavy metals. They may be the reason why we can’t have children – Karol explained to me calmly.
I saw that he was devastated and blamed himself for our problems.
“At least we already know something, honey,” I comforted him.
We have been to several specialists. Most offered us artificial insemination. One even told me I could use the sperm bank if I wanted to.
– A treatment like any other. You can not inform your husband, because we will choose a donor similar to him – the doctor added without shame.
– Are you joking?
“No,” he replied, and I quickly ran away. I was shocked. I would never do such a thing. It’s like I betrayed my Karol. I really wanted a baby, to feel it grow and move in my belly, but not at any cost. I would get them with my husband, not with an anonymous sperm donor.
We decided to go in vitro
First of all, we decided to change specialists. We underwent a “full husband and wife diagnosis”. Most of the treatments we went through were not pleasant, but then we realized how strong our determination is. We would have agreed to any kind of testing, as long as we could finally get pregnant. Not me, but us, because we both tried so hard to have a baby. However, the problem of weak sperm persisted. Precisely for this reason, fertilization could not take place naturally. We chose the in vitro method.
We had no resistance to undergo such a procedure. I know a lot of people in our situation would decide to take a toddler out of an orphanage, especially since the church condemns conception outside the mother system. We also thought about adoption, but as long as there was any hope of having a child of our own, we wanted to try. We only told the parents.
I had read a lot about artificial insemination and knew that it rarely works the first time. Usually you have to repeat it several times. Some women even try ten times… But we knew we wouldn’t try that much. If only because we couldn’t afford it. One procedure cost more than ten thousand zlotys and gave only a 30% chance of success.
We have used all the money raised for the procedure. The one for which we wanted to buy a new washing machine and go on vacation. It wasn’t enough anyway. I had to borrow from my parents. Karol worked overtime … The total grew slowly, but in the end we built it up.
“Must pass, must”
Probably all women before the procedure hope that they will be happy in the 30 percent. In March I started taking hormones. So that my body produces as many eggs as it normally produces in a year: 10-15 eggs. I had a few days for that. During the procedure, two embryos were implanted into me (and the rest were frozen). As the doctor explained, usually only one develops, although sometimes twins are born.
I will never forget that day. It was April 1, April 1.
– If we fail, we can at least joke about it – Karol tried to cheer me up, as usual.
“Maybe you’re wrong,” I looked at him sadly. We just have to wait.
I remember I was very careful then. I wasn’t wearing tight pants so that nothing would press on my stomach. I haven’t been working as much as I used to. I was very careful, I didn’t even run to the bus that was at the stop. And… I didn’t even want to make love to my husband. Anything to help this embryo take root. Fortunately, Charles understood. He didn’t pressure me. And he was totally loved. And I kept telling myself, “Don’t have too high expectations.” But deep in my heart I believed it would be possible…
As the days passed, the tension grew. And I panicked every time I felt a cramp in my stomach or a tightness in my lower abdomen. After all, everything: dizziness, nausea – can be a signal that you passed or … not.
– What if it doesn’t work? – I asked Karol in moments of resentment. – Than what? What’s next? Shall we start all over again?
“It’ll be okay, you’ll see,” my husband smiled at me and tenderly stroked my head.
I was still looking at the calendar and counting the days. When my period was a day late, I sat in my office in high heels. Charles called every hour. How loved he was. I came home by taxi. Just in case nothing happens to me along the way. Karol was here and… we ran the test.
As I waited for the result, all I could hear was my heartbeat and the pulsing blood in my temples. God, the result was positive!!!
– Pass the second test! – I turned to my husband.
– Are you joking?
– But why?
– I need to be sure, and this test only guarantees 96%.
Karol kissed me and flew to the pharmacy. Instead of one box, he brought three. I did all three attempts and the result was the same every time!!!
“God, thank you, thank you…” I kept saying. And Karol gave me a hug as if he wanted to strangle me.
“Take it easy, fool,” I said, and then we started kissing. I remember we didn’t talk much that night. We were afraid to hide, but we were both thinking the same thing. That we are very lucky and that it is a miracle that we did it the first time.
I felt fulfilled as a woman
The next day I ran to the gynecologist. When the doctor confirmed I was pregnant, I had thousands of questions for him. What should I do? How to eat Should I lie down? Do I have to go on sick leave? I was very scared. I knew that if this pregnancy lasted the first three months, everything would be fine. Until then, however, we have decided not to tell our family or friends anything. We just told the parents. But they were happy! For the next two months I was very careful and kept my appointments with the doctor. Nothing bad happened, so I got to work. But when I got home, Charles told me to lie down on the couch and lie down. He did the shopping himself, he cleaned, he brought food from his mother-in-law.
“Honey, I’m not sick, I’m pregnant…” I kept saying.
– I know, but it’s better to breathe cold. I had a great husband, right? The first three months of the pregnancy went without any problems. My stomach is a bit round, so we decided it was time to tell the whole family. How surprised they were!
I survived the pregnancy well. We didn’t brag about how our baby was conceived because we didn’t want the term “test tube baby” sticking to him (or her).
Our son was born on January 12, two weeks before my thirty-eighth birthday. He had barely appeared and had already turned our world upside down, turning night into day and vice versa. Now feeding times, walking times and the like have become the most important. And I was very, very happy. The neighbors looked in the pram and asked his name. They were amazed how sweet and how daddy is. As I stood there and talked to them, nothing else mattered. And I think late motherhood has a lot of benefits. Especially if the child is expected as much as ours.
I have never complained and I have never complained that I am sleepy or tired. After all, it was so close I’d never know. I was a mother and I felt fulfilled as a woman. Karol assured me I’ve never looked better. Well, I rounded up a bit, but I’d get back in shape once I stopped breastfeeding. But my breasts were nice and big. When I wore a tight blouse, my husband couldn’t take his eyes off me.
“Hmmm,” he purred like a cat. – You’re a tasty snack, honey. And when Piotruś fell asleep, I could discover what male appetite meant. We haven’t protected ourselves, for what? I couldn’t get pregnant…
Doctors are wrong sometimes…
Yet, four months after the birth, something strange happened. My period was delayed at first. At first I wasn’t worried about it because I knew it would take some time for the monthly cycle to settle down. The doctor said it could take several months. However, one day I woke up with a terrible headache. I felt sick. I got up and… I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Something must have hurt me, I thought. Unfortunately, it was canceled for the next two weeks. It was weird for poisoning…
But just in case, I went to the doctor. internist. He said nothing and advised me to see a gynecologist. When the nausea subsided, I postponed my appointment overnight. It wasn’t until I was looking forward to my next period that I decided to go. The doctor examined me and said something that completely surprised me:
– You are pregnant. I think this is the middle of the second month… Fourth or fifth week.
– What? – I was completely speechless. – It’s impossible. Impossible!
“And yet… You rushed a bit with the second child,” he added, looking at my card.
“But normally I can’t get pregnant,” I said reproachfully. – That’s why my husband and I decided to undergo artificial insemination. My husband … The specialists told us that he …
“Doctors are sometimes wrong,” he grinned. – And besides… miracles happen.
I was amazed. Fear was mixed with joy. Can I handle the second child?
– You will… – Karol reassured me when I told him everything. And yet it took me time to get used to the thought of motherhood again. The whole family was shocked when we talked about the second pregnancy.
– This is news for you! My father called. “It took you a long time, Karol, but when you started it was a manly way…” he tapped the embarrassed son-in-law on the shoulder. Our second son was born just before Christmas. He gave us a nice present!